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Fiction Friday: Come Back Down – Chapter 8

Writing has been fairly steady this week. At least on my main project. Not so much on the other ones. And it’s raining today, which makes me just want to curl up on the couch and read. Trying to get some other stuff done before I succumb to that. So, here’s the first part of Chapter 8 from Come Back Down:

I settled on one of the steps of the porch, waiting. We were doing a lot of waiting lately. Waiting for the Crows to make another move. Waiting for more information about what they were doing. Waiting to see if Henry added to our troubles.

And, like right now, waiting for Trace to get out of his session with Raven. Unlike what I’d been afraid of, she didn’t try to dig all the way back to my childhood. That didn’t have anything to do with now. We only talked about Henry, what he’d done to me, and how it left me feeling. She never let me get away with saying I was fine.

I don’t know what Trace talked to her about. He wouldn’t tell me. He always seemed so drained after his sessions. He never wanted to do much for the rest of the day, but I didn’t want to leave him during those times either. I figured he needed me more then than at any other time, even if he barely spoke for hours afterward. The time it took him to process whatever happened during the session diminished every time. That was only after a week and three sessions.

I was already having less nightmares and feeling more like myself. For me, it was only a couple months of issues. For Trace, it was a lifetime. I told Raven I’d keep coming, even if we both felt I didn’t need much more than someone to talk to. I could have that with a good friend. As long as it kept Trace going, I’d go as well.

The door opened behind me, and I glanced over my shoulder. Trace stood, his hand still on the door, and drew in a long breath. I got slowly to my feet, studying his face, searching for any sign of how his session had gone.

He looked tired, I could tell that right away. There was something else under it. Maybe dragging all of this up wasn’t helping him. What if it made things worse for him? No. Facing a problem never made things worse. Maybe at first, but it always got better in the end.

“This isn’t working,” he said when he reached me.

“It will. You have to give it more time.”

“It’s only making me hear his voice in my head even more. For hours.” Probably those same hours where he barely spoke. My heart clenched tight at the thought. I wish he would have told me. I would have done my best to drown that asshole’s voice out.

“You have to give it some time,” I told him again. “You’ve spent your whole life with the things he’s said. A few sessions isn’t going to change that.”

He wrapped an arm around my waist, almost like he clung to me. After a moment, he stepped back. “I need to get out of here,” he said.

If you want to read the rest of the chapter, it’s up on Wattpad now.

Writing Wednesday: Drafting a Break

Break? What break? Haha. So, RoW80 is on break. I’m not. I’ve actually been writing more words during the break than I was before I think. Trying to get Cam and Gio back together after breaking them up is taking some work. Soon, I think. Very soon.

I’ll get to the progress I’ve made so far, but first, I’m still looking for some beta readers for Healing the Heart, my follow-up to Duty to Protect. There are some references to that first book, but I don’t think it’s necessary to have read it to enjoy this one(though I may need unbiased eyes to tell me if that’s true or not).

And second, it’s WiPPet Wednesday time! WOOHOO! Okay, maybe I get a little too excited about that. or maybe I’ve had too much coffee(nope, nope, NOPE. Not a possibility). Anyway, since I am still working on Closing Time, that’s what I’ll be sharing from again today. I have 14 paragraphs(9+28+1-6).

He knew he’d never get his mother off track. “There’s this guy,” he admitted.

At his mother’s light laugh, he glanced up through the hair hanging in his face. he never thought he’d hear her laugh about this. That he’d be a constant disappointment for her and worry, since it might not always be a girl he brought home.

“I imagine this is the same guy your sister was telling me about the last week. Your bartender, right?”

Why had Caitie said anything about it? Usually she was so good about keeping his secrets. His mom must have noticed his distress, because she added, “She was just worried about you, Gio. She knew what he did to Nolan, and-”

“I know,” he said before she could say more. He was the youngest, so he was used to the other three trying to protect him. But, he was twenty-five now. And Caitie would have been pissed if Cormac and Brann did that to her. In fact, they had, with Mark, and she had put them in their place. He couldn’t do that, though, because she was still away on her honeymoon. “I know now what he did, but I still…I’m scared,” he admitted. “But, I don’t know if it’s enough.”

“Enough for what, sweetie?”

“For me to stay away from him. I should, so he doesn’t do the same to me. But, there’s just something about him. I don’t want to stay away.”

She moved her chair closer to him and stroked a hand down his hair to soothe him, just as she had when he’d been younger. She’d never told him that boys didn’t cry, or that he shouldn’t be upset about something. She just let the storm play out until it was over.

“Maybe you should stop trying,” she said gently. “Your father terrified me plenty when we first met, too.”

He shook his head. “I can’t believe that. You two are still so in love.”

She pulled back and smiled at him. “That we are. Because he’s a tenacious bastard.”

A laugh burst out of Gio at that. But, her smile remained soft. “Here was this bartender, new to town. And me with my shiny new badge. He was big and bold and brash.” She paused then said, “Granted your brothers take after him more there, but I still hold you’re the most like him. He had the sweetest, most gentle heart, and it bruised easily. I bruised it. He scared me because he made me feel so much, and I lashed out at him. But, he never gave up on me.”

“Mom.” Tears welled in his eyes now. His dad had told this story enough times, he practically knew it by heart. But, he’d never heard it from his mother’s perspective.

She just smiled at him and used her thumb to wipe away his tears. “You have his heart, Gio. And you see the good in people, just as he always has, even when I struggle to see past the bad they do. Just…be careful. I don’t want to see your heart bruised too badly.”

Writing this scene made me really want to write out Dougal and Shae’s story. *glances at list of side projects* Hmmm, maybe I could slip it in, too. 😉 So, will Gio give things with Cam a chance? Will it work out for them?(Still working on that one)

And third, finally, my progress so far this week:

  • Write 13000 words(10000 on main project: Closing Time) – 6923 words so far.
    • Closing Time – 6435 words – “You still didn’t have the right to tell a secret that belonged to me. The same exact thing Cam did to Nolan that you’re still so upset about. And this is worse. I never expected to be betrayed by my own brother.”
    • Break on Me – 488 words – Lora let Gabriel lead her to the bed, taking in the view of his strong back. She thought she could stare at it all night long. Then, she thought about how he’d just pressed her up against the door. And how he’d felt against her. Okay, maybe not all night. She definitely wanted to do more with him than look.
  • Edit: Work in Worldbuilding details for Guarding the Heart – I’ve added 107 words so far. This takes place in the “real world” so mostly I’m making sure the setting details are clear.
  • Plot: Toby & Denise – Outline – I’ve got the plot summaries and character arcs finished. Hoping to finish it this week.
  • Side Projects: Add 2500 words – 0/2500 words. Hopefully I’ll get to these sometime this week.
  • Story a Day – write 5 stories – I’ve written 3/5 stories this week.
  • Read: Writing Active Hooks – 100% – up to 82%
  • Listen: Hour of Need(Melinda Leigh) & Frost Like Night(Sara Raasch – this just came out & it jumped the list) – I finished Hour of Need yesterday(enjoyed this one). Started Frost Like Night. Listened to almost 2.5 hours/12.5 so far).
  • Read: Finish More Happy Than Not(Adam Silvera), Cut Both Ways(Carrie Mesrobian), Start Me Up(Victoria Dahl), An Ember in the Ashes(Sabaa Tahir), The Chief(Monica McCarty), Still the One(Jill Shalvis), Sudden Death(Allison Brennan), Right of First Refusal(Dahlia Adler), The Blade’s Memory(Lindsay Buroker), Saint and Scholar(Holley Trent), Chemical Reaction(A.M. Leibowitz), & Shallow Graves(Kali Wallace) – I finished More Happy Than Not(really enjoyed), Cut Both Ways(enjoyed but had some issues with it), Start Me Up(really enjoyed this one), and I’m 61% through An Ember in the Ashes. Enjoying this one, too. I’m behind where I wanted to be, but I don’t expect to finish all of these this week. Whatever I don’t get finished will make up part of next month’s list.

A lot of green even if there’s more red than I’d like.

Teaser Tuesday: “Family”

I finished polishing up Healing the Heart last week. I’m still looking for beta readers for that if anyone’s interested in reading and giving me feedback. It’s the follow-up to Duty to Protect and is Melanie’s(Garren’s former fiancee) story(and another character that doesn’t show up in the first story.

Today I’m sharing a bit from the MS I’m currently editing, Guarding the Heart. This is the first in my BC Security series. This snippet is from close to the beginning.

“Does she get everything she wants?” Casey asked, coming up behind them.
He saw Alex’s back stiffen, knew he hadn’t heard him approach. Then, his friend was turning to him. Hannah was already sliding down from the pony’s back and climbing through the fence. “Uncle Casey,” she cried, throwing herself at him.
“Hannah Bana,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. The nickname had started a couple years ago when he’d called her Hannah Banana and she’d tried to repeat it. Just her smile always made him feel better. It had from the first time he’d held her.
She giggled. “You’re silly, Uncle Casey. I’m a big girl now. I don’t need a silly nickname anymore.”
“That’s right. You’re all grown up now. Are you ready to ship out to college?”
She giggled again. “I’m only six. You’re being silly again.”
Not too many people had ever accused him of that. But, from her, it sent a jolt of warmth through him. Along with the pain of knowing he’d never have this for himself. That had died with Marie.
“Why don’t you go in and see if Mom has dinner ready,” Alex suggested.
The little girl ran toward the house. Casey had sobered by the time he straightened. “We need to talk.”
Alex nodded. “Let’s walk. Sarah will call us when dinner’s ready. I’m sure she’ll set a place for you once Hannah tells her you’re here.”
“I don’t want to intrude.”
“You never do.” He let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. “You know you’re always welcome here. You’re not an intrusion.”
“I know. I’m still not used to it. Family. Being welcome. It’s not easy for me.”
“It should be.” He sighed. “So, what’s going on?”
“I got all our bills paid, but the next ones aren’t going to be if we don’t get another job soon. I called George. Turlington has blacklisted us. That’s why we can’t get any jobs.”
Alex leaned his arms against a fence and stared out at the horses grazing there, many of them heavy with foals. “It’s what we figured. Don’t really care to have the confirmation though.”
“At least we know. We just have to figure out what we’re going to do.”
“What can we do, Casey? We can’t force people to hire us.”
“George said he’d help us until we got some jobs. I don’t want to take it. He’s done so much already.” Casey rapped his fist on the top rail of the fence. “I hate that he’s brought us to this. What right does he have?”
Alex pushed away from the fence. “At least you finally stopped blaming yourself. But, it doesn’t solve the problem. If George wants to help,-”
Casey shook his head. “No. It’s not to that yet. I have my savings. It’s just sitting there. I can dip into it first.”
Alex turned to him. “No. You were saving that for a house. I won’t let you do that.”
“I was saving it to get a house with Marie. That’s not a possibility anymore. I won’t let you dip into yours. You have a family, you need it for them. I don’t need it for anything.”
“You are so damn stubborn, Case.”
“It doesn’t matter, Alex. I don’t need the money. My apartment’s over the office, and George bought that building for us. The only thing I need money for is food and stuff. Hell, I eat more here than anywhere else. I should be paying Sarah for feeding me.”
“You know she’d never take it.” Alex slapped his shoulder. “We might as well head up. Dinner should be ready soon.”
“We haven’t figured out what we’re going to do yet.”
“It sounded like you already figured it out for yourself. Come on.”

Sunday Summary: Settled for a Break

Yeah, yeah, RoW80 is on a break, so why are you all seeing me here? That should be obvious. I don’t do breaks very well. You’ve figured that out about me, right?

Friday night we were on our way to get some dinner and groceries, as usual for us lately. Then, there’s a call over the radio for a structure fire with entrapment in town. So, my husband turns around and we park down the street. he’s the Chief Safety Officer for the department and carries all his gear in the truck. They pretty much had it out by that point. And it turns out, the ‘entrapment’ was a cat. Everyone else had gotten out(and yes, they did save the cat).

Saturday I had planned to catch up on my reading and writing I fell behind on during the week. Then, husband decided he wanted to go to Erie to see if either of the sports stores could restring and resight his bow since archery season is coming up soon. And he had to get some tools. Well, the used bookstore is right next to the tool store. So, I took in two boxes I’d filled with books. Both kids decided they wanted to go with me(usually the boy wants to go to the tool store with Daddy). After trading in the two boxes of books, I had over $78 in credit on my account. After buying 15 books(8 of those were the kids), I still had about $53 dollars. I had to spend $35(only half the price of each book is taken out of the credit). Still, I only would have been able to get maybe 4 books new for that price. I figured we’d go home after we got some lunch. Instead, we ended up taking the kids to the local pumpkin farm. They have a whole punch of activities, hay bales set up in a maze that the kids can run over or go through, a corn box(kind of like a sandbox but filled with…you guessed it, corn, mazes, and several other things. We ended up staying there for almost 3 hours. Needless to say, I didn’t get much reading or writing done yesterday. I’ve been making up for that today, though. Got through my secondary projects and most of my side projects, too. Still well behind on my reading, though. Hoping to catch up on some of that this afternoon.

Today we’re trying to clean out the garage, mostly moving stuff we won’t need for the winter(and baby stuff we keep planning to sell) into our enclosed trailer. But, I got a good bit done before that, and we’re taking a break for lunch, so I’m typing while I eat some leftover pizza.

  • Write – 13000 words(10000 towards Closing Time) – 13590 words/13000. That’s a win! Even if it took me until Sunday to reach it.
    • Closing Time – 10394 words – “I don’t think he does, big brother. I’ve heard you have a reputation for spilling other people’s secrets. Why would he believe you now?” *Oh, I hate Cam’s brother so very, very much. And now I have to find the way to get Cam & Gio back together.
    • Break on Me – 1034 words – She leaned forward then and pressed her lips over the largest of the scars left behind by the shrapnel from the blast that had taken his arm. A shiver rippled over him at her light touch. She wasn’t turned off by his stump of an arm, wasn’t disgusted by these scars. She hardly even stumbled over his anxiety issues. Could she be any more perfect?
    • In the Moonlight – 1144 words – I took a couple more steps up the stairs and it was almost like whispers swirled around me. Words of desire, wishes, promises. I gripped the railing a little tighter even though it didn’t feel all that sturdy. “Nola,” I said quietly, my heart hammering faster.
    • Defending the Heart – 1018 words – Damn. He was still thinking like a Marine three years out. Maybe that stupid old saying was true. He’d heard his dad repeat it often enough.
  • Edit – Polish Healing the Heart(if anyone’s interested in beta reading this, let me know) – Finished polishing this on Friday. Still looking for beta readers, though.
  • Plot – Toby & Denise: Write Denise’s back story – finished Denise’s back story as well as ones for the two antagonists. Now, to do the actual plotting.
  • Side Projects – Add 2500 words between projects – 2643 words/2500.
    • Dance with the Devil – 784 words. All written this morning. – Bull huffed out a breath, but he turned and walked out of the room. She shook her head once the door closed. “Should’ve named him teddy bear,” she murmured. 
    • Snow White Twist – 1298 words. Most of those are from a scene that will come later(I actually wrote it for a Story a Day piece) – Tarian let out a huff of laughter. “They always have had sucky timing.” She took a step back, and fixed the laces Eira had just undone.
    • Patrick & Sarah – 181 words – The woman let out a rather offensive snort. “Like you don’t know. Like all the men in this town don’t know her.” *poor Sarah. She’s obviously not thought too highly of by the “kind” people of town.
    • Tavin & Haiwee – 196 words – Tavin sighed and followed more slowly. “I’ll just go out and get us some meat, boys. It won’t take long at all.” Famous last words of a fool.
    • Roman – 184 words – “If you want to help him, Tereza,” he said, biting back the words he wanted to spew out, “if you want me to help him, then you have to talk to me. What did you see? What do you know?” *those words he wants to spew out aren’t towards Tereza, but Carlos, who at this point, he thinks may have taken advantage of a vulnerable girl.
  • Story a Day – Wrote 6/7 stories
  • Read: Writing Active Hooks: Book 2 – 50% – got to this point
  • Listen: Empire of Storms & Obsessed(T.R. Ragan) – I finished Empire of Storms(loved, loved, loved) and Obsessed(Really enjoyed, but that ending. Ugh. It’s killing me). I also started Hour of Need(Melinda Leigh). I’m about 2.5 hours into it.
  • Read: Finish Blightlore(Krista Walsh), The Darkest Hour(Maya Banks), Grave Touched(Erin Zarro), The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie(Jennifer Ashley), More Happy Than Not(Adam Silvera), Cut Both Ways(Carrie Mesrobian), Start Me Up(Victoria Dahl), An Ember in the Ashes(Sabaa Tahir), The Chief(Monica McCarty), & Still the One(Jill Shalvis) – I finished Blightlore(loved, even if it shattered my heart), The Darkest Hour(enjoyed), Grave Touched(really enjoyed), and The Madness of Lord Ian Mackenzie(LOVED…and had me squeezing to a friend who reads historical romance about it before I’d even finished). I’m 75% through More Happy Than Not and really enjoying it. I’ll finish that today and hoping to read at least most of Cut Both Ways. That still leaves me with 10 books on my list to read this month. Probably not going to happen in 5 days, but that’s okay. They’ll just get moved to next month’s list.

Overall it was a pretty good week. I knew I likely would get to all those books, though I was hoping to get to more of them.

  • Write 13000 words(10000 on main project: Closing Time)
  • Edit: Work in Worldbuilding details for Guarding the Heart
  • Plot: Toby & Denise – Outline
  • Side Projects: Add 2500 words
  • Story a Day – write 5 stories
  • Read: Writing Active Hooks – 100%
  • Listen: Hour of Need(Melinda Leigh) & Frost Like Night(Sara Raasch – this just came out & it jumped the list)
  • Read: Finish More Happy Than Not(Adam Silvera), Cut Both Ways(Carrie Mesrobian), Start Me Up(Victoria Dahl), An Ember in the Ashes(Sabaa Tahir), The Chief(Monica McCarty), Still the One(Jill Shalvis), Sudden Death(Allison Brennan), Right of First Refusal(Dahlia Adler), The Blade’s Memory(Lindsay Buroker), Saint and Scholar(Holley Trent), Chemical Reaction(A.M. Leibowitz), & Shallow Graves(Kali Wallace)

Next Sunday I’ll have my wrap-up for the month and next month’s goals as well as my usual weekly goals(I know RoW80 will be changing how we check-in, but I’ll probably at least continue my Sunday check-in if not Wednesday as well)

WeWriWa: “Come In”

Welcome back to another visit with the Weekend Writing Warriors, the blog hop for anyone who likes to write. I haven’t written anything new on Dance with the Devil this week. I’m hoping to change that this weekend, but at least I have some words sitting between what I’ve shared and what I have written. This is a little further along from last week’s snippet.

Hawk stood there. “Can I come in?”

His gaze dropped to my chest, still bare, then slowly climbed back to my face. I stepped back, knowing I probably shouldn’t let him in. But, it had always been difficult saying no to him.

I turned away before he could say anything, but I still saw the flash of horror in his eyes. He must have seen the bruises spreading across my chest and stomach. Those guys really had done a number on me. Before he said anything about that, I really needed some coffee. I grabbed a long-sleeved t-shirt off the back of the couch on my way to the kitchen.

What is Hawk doing there? Will Devil need to make himself say no? Will he be able to?

I also have Chapter 7 of Come Back Down up on Wattpad if you want to check that out.

SOCS/Story a Day September: Day 24 – “Busted”

Today’s Stream of Consciousness prompt was to use ‘bus’ somewhere, either on it’s own or as part of another word. And for Story a Day, it was to focus on genre. Pretty much everything I write would fall under the Romance genre. This will probably come at the beginning of the story that I’m currently plotting(no title yet, but it’s part of one of my series). I’ve just finished all of the back stories, so I may have it plotted before the end of the month. This fits somewhere around the story I wrote for Day 21, Barely Crawling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You could take your eyes off my sister for even five seconds.”

Beside Toby, Jonas started to laugh. “You’re so totally busted,” his teenage brother said.

Toby put his hand on the kid’s face and pushed him back into the chair. Jonas only laughed harder. “Knew I shoulda left you at home,” Toby muttered.

Across the table, Jared just smiled at the two of them. Then, his gaze went back to Toby even as he balanced his infant daughter on one leg. That couldn’t be easy as she was squirming as if she wanted down. Jared made it look easy, though. “Seriously, Toby, I’m sure she’d appreciate, oh, I don’t know, if you’d go over and talk to her instead of trying to stare through her clothes.”

Heat washed over him at that. “I wasn’t. That’s not-”

Jared laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I know my sister’s a grown woman. Trust me, she’s made that clear to me. And that I need to ‘chill on the overprotectiveness.’ Her words.”

“So Hallie’s going to get all of that now,” Melanie, Jared’s wife, said as she joined them.

He raised one eyebrow and stared her down. But, she only kept looking right back at him. Finally he dropped his gaze and kissed the top of his daughter’s head. “Your mama’s got me beat. Always.”

Toby’s chest burned watching the two of them. The love was obvious between them, even when they were in one of their fights. It was something he’d never thought he’d have for himself. He’d never seen it growing up. The men in his mother’s life hadn’t loved either of them. Not until Edward. The foster homes he’d bounced between whenever he’d been taken away from her hadn’t been all that loving either. Then, there’d been Adriane. But, she’d been taken away from him, too. And he’d seen how losing Edward had nearly destroyed his mom.

Maybe love wasn’t such a good thing after all.

Then, Denise’s laugh rang out again and drew his gaze back to her. Melanie laughed this time. “Go talk to her, Toby. I’m sure she’d like it if you did.”

Did everyone see it? No, because then she would, too. But, she seemed to be oblivious. And it was probably better that way. She was sweet, innocent, and perfect. Everything he hadn’t been since before he even hit his teenage years. It was better for both of them if he just kept his distance. “We should probably get going, Jonas. Mom will be expecting us.”

His kid brother rolled his eyes but stood up from the chair. “How come she’s the only thing you’ve ever run from? You were in the Army. You’re a cop. You’re not supposed to be afraid of anything.”

Jared laughed again. “You’ll figure it out one of these days. Sometimes the best things in life are the ones that scare us the most.”

Toby glanced toward Denise again, caught the grin she was flashing toward another couple. If that was true, then there couldn’t be anything better than Denise. If only he could be good enough for her.

Fiction Friday: Come Back Down – Chapter 7

I’ve been able to settle back into a more normal routine this week. A lot of writing done as well as some editing and plotting. And we even went to the kids’ open house at school last night. Hoping I can keep up this routine for a while. For now, I have the next chapter of Come Back Down up on Wattpad. Here’s the beginning of it:

It was amazing to watch Trace draw. Something came alive in him, that I had only caught a few brief glimpses of before. This was different than the light that came on when we touched each other. That was switched on by lust, but this was something deeper, something more.

His hand seemed to fly over the sheet of paper as a picture developed. He’d go back and move a line or shade something else in. I was mesmerized by the time he finished the first one. I looked at it as Trace started on the next one. “I don’t know him.”

“I don’t, either,” Icarus admitted. “I’ll show it to the others. One of them might.”

“He didn’t have a rank patch,” Trace said.

Icarus headed to the door with the first sketch, but he stopped and turned back. “You remember which ones do?”

Trace dipped his head, but his hand didn’t stop moving over the paper. “I have a good memory for things I see. Not photographic but probably close. Henry always said it was creepy and freaked him out.”

Icarus’ fist clenched at the mention of that man’s name. I couldn’t blame him for that reaction. Not after everything Trace’s stepfather had done. “Nothing about you is creepy, Trace. Keep his words out of your head.”

Trace’s head dipped again, but this time it wasn’t a nod, it was shame. I squeezed his hand that didn’t hold the pencil and felt him squeeze back after a moment.

“Whichever names and ranks you remember,” Icarus said, “put them with the sketch. Do you know his?”

“Mace.”

Icarus took out another pencil, set the paper against the door, and wrote the name under the sketch. Then, he left the room.

“He’s upset with me now,” Trace murmured.

“No,” I assured him. “Not with you. He hates he didn’t get you from that situation sooner. There’s nothing he can do to get rid of all the thoughts that nasty man put in your head. He’d never be upset with you for something you didn’t have control over.”

The corners of his mouth tipped up. “You’re good, you know that? At getting into a man’s mind and sorting out their thoughts. You ever think…”

“What? I asked. I hated when he didn’t finish a thought.

He gave a little shrug and focused on his sketch. “Just wondering if you’d ever thought about going on to college for something like that. Like therapy, you know. I bet you’d be good at it.”

Now, it was my turn to duck my head. I had thought about college, but it had always been a vague thing. I hadn’t had a traditional education, but I had the equivalent to a diploma. I could apply to colleges if I’d wanted to.

I didn’t know if I wanted to.

If you want to read the rest of the chapter, you find it here.

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