Home of a mother, wife, writer

Posts tagged ‘stream of consciousness saturday’

Stream of Consciousness: “Game of Fear”

“Didn’t you ever play that game as a kid?”

Isaac looked at the other kid, not sure exactly how to answer that. This privileged kid wouldn’t understand. The only game he’d played as a kid had been the game of fear his father had been a master of.

Sometimes he felt like he still played it even though his father had been in prison for two years now.

“Just leave him alone,” another voice said from a desk to the right and just behind him. “Not everyone spent their formative years dicking around behind a computer.”

“You’re such an ass, Konner.” But the kid left Isaac alone, finally giving him a chance to put his books in his bag and get out of the classroom.

“Hey!” There was that voice again. His hand tightened on the strap of his messenger bag as he felt the man coming up behind him.

The kid came up behind him and tapped on his shoulder when he didn’t even slow down. Isaac spun around, one hand coming up between them.

“Easy,” Konner said. “I’m not going to do anything. You just left this under your desk.”

Isaac lowered his hand and took the sketch book from him. “Thanks,” he said.

“I’m heading over to the dining hall for lunch. You want to join me?”

He didn’t have any afternoon classes today, so he’d planned to go back to the Pellas to eat. They’d only been in classes for a week, and he’d not done anything on campus that could be called social. No matter how Cristine insisted he should.

Still, he found himself saying, “Sure. I can do that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt was to use the title of the book you’re currently reading or the one sitting closest to you when you’re ready to write your SoCS post and base your post on the title only. I just finished reading a book last night and haven’t started another one, but I am listening to Game of Fear by Robin Perini on audible. And that made me think of Isaac. He and Konner do have some connections to each other that they’ll find out about soon. Maybe I’ll be able to work that in to a future SOCS. 😉

Stream of Consciousness Saturday: “Ick”

“Well, aren’t you looking slick tonight.”

Jonas’  cheeks darkened, and Isaac loved being the one able to do that to him. What he said was true, though. Jonas did look slick in his tux tonight. Isaac slipped his arm through Jonas’ so they could walk in together. This moment was important to both of them and had been nearly two years coming. Most of their classmates knew they were together, but they hadn’t gone to any events together like this.

That was more his own fault than Jonas’. He’d been too afraid, that Jonas would end up leaving him. That the Pellas would kick him out. He should never have feared that one, though. They’d wanted to adopt him, but he hadn’t been able to accept that.

Now he let Jonas pull him out on the dance floor. They had three more months of time of nothing but time together. Then came college. That didn’t mean anything had to change for them, though. Did it? He was going to a college not far from here And Jonas, well, he still hadn’t said anything about where he planned to go.

“I’m going to miss moments like this when I head to basic training.”

Isaac jerked back from him at those words. “What kind of sick joke is that?” he asked, but Jonas wasn’t laughing.

“It’s not a joke,” Jonas said. “I mentioned that I was considering enlisting. It feels more right than going to more school.”

Isaac shook his head and took a step back from him. “I can’t believe this. Why would you do this?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I’m not cut out to be a student.”

“You know how I feel about it. My father-”

“Is an asshole. And not the epitome of how every soldier thinks. My brother served, too, and you don’t seem to have a problem with him. My dad did, too. I may have only been seven when he died, but I can still tell you he was a good man.”

Isaac threw his hands up and turned away. “I can’t do this.”

“You’re going to walk away from me because of this?”

Isaac turned back at the edge of the dance floor. “I can’t do it,” he said again. It’s all he could seem to get out through the fear closing in on him. “I can’t, Jonas. So, yes, I’m going to walk away.”

“How can it be that easy for you?”

Easy? He thought this was easy? It was one of the hardest things Isaac had ever made himself do. But he didn’t know if he could live with anything else.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The prompt for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday was ‘ick’ either use it as part of a word or on its own. I’ve mostly just written about Jonas and Isaac getting together here. But the project I’m currently working on in this series takes place two years after the last one(where we first meet Jonas & Isaac) and we see they have broken up. And this is what led to that(I knew they’d break up, but I hadn’t known the reason behind it). If everything goes to plan, they’ll end up back together in another four or so years. But, I have three stories to finish in the series before I get there.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday: “Ooooh, Aaaah”

“Ooooh,” Jonas said as more green and blue and red filled the sky. There was no response from beside him on the blanket. There really hadn’t been since the fireworks display had started.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I’ve told you I don’t like fireworks,” Isaac said.

Jonas could hear the scratching of a pencil and glanced over. Sure enough, Isaac was drawing. Even with the small light clipped on top of the sketchbook, Jonas couldn’t tell what the sketch was of. But, Isaac was making a lot of quick hard strokes. Even more so when the next firework was set off.

“Fireworks are fun,” Jonas said. “Everyone likes fireworks.”

“I don’t,” Isaac said, and for the first time Jonas saw the fast strokes were to hide the way his hand was trembling.

God, he felt like such an asshole. “We can go,” he said. “We don’t have to stay for the rest. I’ll just tell Mom we’re going to go back to the house.”

But, Isaac reached out and clasped his forearm. “No. You’ve been so looking forward to this. We can stay. I’ll be fine.”

Jonas couldn’t bring himself to tell Isaac the reason he’d so been looking forward to this. That it would probably be the last full summer he spent here, at least for the next four years. He hadn’t even told his mother what he planned yet, but how could he do less than his father and brother had? She’d have to understand that, wouldn’t she?

“I was even more excited to spend the time with you,” he said. “No matter where we are.”

He caught the glint in Isaac’s eyes from the fireworks over their heads. Then, their mouths were fused together. And all he could manage to say was, “Aaaah.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, more from Jonas and Isaac this week for Stream of Consciousness Saturday. I really do love these two. Though I didn’t know what Jonas would be doing after high school.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday: “Rain/Rein/Reign”

“It looks like it’s going to rain,” Jonas said, looking out from under the picnic shelter they’d been sitting under.

Isaac grunted but his hand kept pulling the pencil over the paper. He wouldn’t let Jonas see what he was working on. They’d been meeting here at the park for a few days now. Jonas liked spending time here with Isaac. He usually only came to play soccer or kickball with some of his buddies from school. Now that they were out for the summer, there wasn’t much else to do. But, as soon as he’d seen Isaac show up each day, he’d abandoned them.

It probably made him a bad friend. But, whatever. He liked Isaac more than any of those guys.

“Maybe we should go back to my house,” he said now. “Mom won’t mind.”

Isaac let out a little snort, but he still didn’t look up from his sketch pad. “She won’t mind? Just the two of us being there? She won’t think I’ll corrupt you?”

Jonas rolled his eyes then set his hand on Isaac’s knee. “She’s not your dad. She doesn’t think like that.” He wished he hadn’t said it when the other boy cringed and finally put down the sketch pad. Isaac still had bruises that hadn’t quite faded yet. In his house, violence reigned supreme.

It made Jonas sick to think about that. All he’d ever known was love from his parents. It wasn’t perfect, and his father had been gone, dead, for ten years now. But, that love was still there. Isaac didn’t have that, even if Jonas wanted to give it to him.

He wasn’t even sure what all that entailed. They hadn’t even kissed. Maybe Isaac hadn’t even thought about that yet. Jonas couldn’t seem to stop thinking about it.

“and if she starts hating me? Because I lead you down a path to…to somewhere she doesn’t want you to go?”

Jonas was pretty sure he knew what Isaac had been about to say, and he really just wanted to hug him. This may not be the best place for that. The other guys were already teasing him for dropping everything to hang out with Isaac. He didn’t need to bring more grief down on either of them.

“Dude,” he said, forcing a smile for Isaac’s sake. “I told you the other day. My older brother used to be in a gang. You really think she’d be more bothered by me realizing I’m gay or bi.”

“You  never know,” Isaac muttered, shoving the last of his supplies into his pack and swinging it onto his shoulder. “My dad would be.”

Jonas nudged him with his shoulder. “I already told you, Mom’s not your dad. She’ll be cool. Let’s go before it lets loose.”

Isaac still looked hesitant, but he followed Jonas away from the park. That was something at least. He didn’t know where this was heading, but he thought it might be best to let Isaac hold the reins, at least for now.

Maybe they could figure out where this path led together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt was to use rain/rein/reign any way you want. use one or all or any combination. I still have three stories in this series to write before I get to Jonas and Isaac’s story, but they popped into my head today. So, I may just keep playing with them until it is time to fully get to their story.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday: “Sign”

“I’d take that as a sign,” Carlos said.

“Sign of what?” Carisa asked, looking up at her older brother. He was leaning against her table but not looking at her. She followed his gaze and saw Jayla walking into the restaurant, trailed by two young men and a girl. She knew the girl, Alexa, but not the two boys.

“Jayla doesn’t come down here,” he said. “Not around anyone from her past, except Jared. And that’s because he gave her a job at the clinic. She certainly doesn’t bring her siblings.”

“Obviously she does if they’re here,” Carisa said, ducking her head so her brother hopefully wouldn’t notice her cheeks flaming.

He only chuckled, though. “That’s just what I’m saying, Carisa. You ever tell her you spend most every day here after work.”

She felt the temperature in her cheeks climb higher. “No,” she said finally. “But, I did tell Alexa about it one day when I was working with her at the youth center.”

“And she told her big sister, maybe even mentioned your name. And here they are.”

“It doesn’t mean anything, Carlos. They need to eat like anyone else.”

“But, never here. Not before. And that’s just what I’m saying. And she’s risking the younger sibling’s foster mother’s ire by bringing them around someone like me. I’d say that’s another sign.”

“Sign of what?” she asked again. She didn’t know what had gotten into her brother lately, but he kept saying stuff like this. Just because he was happily married now with a new baby didn’t mean everyone was cut out for that.

“Sign that she wants to be with you. Maybe it’s one you should start heeding.”

She shook her head and turned back to the paper she was grading. She didn’t need to start heeding any signs. It would probably be better if she avoided them at all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, Carisa. No don’t avoid those signs. Your brother knows what he’s talking about. 😀

This week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt was to use “sign” any way we’d like. And the first line of this popped into my head. So, I went with it.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday: “Admit”

Admit it. I know what you’re thinking.”

Carisa wanted to sigh, but what was the point, really? “then, why would I bother saying it?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” Jayla shot back. “Might as well get it off your chest. It won’t bother me.”

“Judging from your tone, that’s exactly what it would do. Except I’m sure I’m not thinking what you’ve assumed I am.”

Jayla looked confused for a moment then she scowled again. “Sure you are. It’s what everyone thinks. I see how people look at me. I know what they think of me. They don’t believe I actually left that life behind more than five years ago. But, I did.”

Her bottom lip trembled at that last, and she pressed her lips together as if to hide that. Carisa wanted to go to her, but she was sure Jayla would not appreciate that. So, she kept her distance. “I believe you,” she said. “Trust me, I am not judging you.”

“And why should I trust you. I still barely know you.”

Not for a lack of trying on Carisa’s part, though. The other girl had some quite tall and thick walls erected around herself. Carisa didn’t know if she’d ever be able to get through them.

But, she’d certainly like to try.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt was to use “admit” any way we want. I’m going to be getting back to outlining Jayla and Carisa’s story, since I finished the first draft of Not Meant to Be on Friday, so these two jumped into my head.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday: “Whether/Weather”

“Weather be damned,” Anna said, grabbing her coat off the hook. Damn snow. But, it was almost Christmas, and if she didn’t go now, she’d be going to the mall on Christmas Eve. And there was no way that was happening.

It had stopped coming down so hard at least. She shouldn’t have a problem getting out there, as long as the roads had been cleared.

She pushed her door open then stumbled back as a figure loomed over her on the porch. “Morgan,” she said, her hand on her chest, “you scared me.”

“Sorry,” he said, his voice gruff. “I wasn’t expecting you to come out right that moment.”

“Of course. What did you want?” Morgan didn’t usually just come over to her house. No matter how much she wished he would.

Even with her porch light on, his face was in shadows, but she saw the worry flash through his eyes. “Have you seen Raina? Kacy called and said she can’t find her anywhere around the house?”

“You mean she actually looked for her this time?” Anna blurted and caught Morgan’s grimace.

“Apparently. trust me, I ripped into her about that last time. I still can’t believe she went all night not knowing her own daughter was missing. And that the judge wouldn’t even consider rescinding the unsupervised visitation after that. Apparently she hadn’t put our daughter in enough danger.”

Anna reached out and laid her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry, Morgan. And no, I haven’t seen her. The last time she hid out in the diner kitchen. Why don’t we go down and check there?”

“Thanks, Anna. Raina is…she’s my everything.”

“I know, Morgan. We’ll find her. If she’s not at the diner, we’ll call out some people to search. But, we will find her.”

They had just headed down the street when someone called out his name. They turned and saw Morgan’s sister’s girlfriend waving at them from her porch. Morgan stood where he was, but Anna tugged on his arm. “We have to find her,” he said, his voice strained. “Not visit.”

“And maybe they can help,” she reminded him.

When they reached the porch, Anna saw a little face peering out from behind the doorframe. And she let out a long breath. “Thank God.”

“Raina, come out here,” Morgan said, his voice  trembling. His daughter ran to him, and he dropped to his knees to gather her close. “You had me so scared,” he said. “You have to stop doing this.”

“I’m sorry,” she cried. “I just want to go home with you.”

“Not tonight,” he told her. “You have to go back to your mom’s tonight. But, I’ll be picking you up tomorrow night and bringing you home. Okay?”

The girl looked very much like that was not okay with her. But, she nodded. Morgan took her hand and headed for the sidewalk. He glanced back at Anna. “Thanks.”

“I didn’t really do anything,” she said.

“You kept me from totally losing it,” he said.

She watched him walk away and let out a sigh. “I should get going. I still have to finish my shopping.”

“You getting something special for Morgan?” Susan asked with a laugh.

“Like he’d even accept it from me,” she muttered. “Anyway I’ll see you around. Thanks for taking care of Raina.”

“She’s practically my niece. I don’t need thanks.”

Anna headed off, walking back to her house to get her car. And, yes, she was going to get something for Morgan, whether he would accept it or not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt was to use weather/whether in any way we wanted. I’m plotting out Morgan and Anna’s story right now, so I figured I could write about them and this just kind of took off.

Tag Cloud