I combined my Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Story a Day prompts again this week(last time for that). For SOCS, it was to use press, either as beginning, end, or on its own. For Story a Day, it was to focus on pacing. I wanted to go for a somewhat quick pace. And when I thought of that, I thought of these two. I’ll likely be continuing this for tomorrow’s Story a Day as well(which is to torture your protagonist, so that should be fun *evil grin*)
I pressed my hand against the wall, knowing I needed to calm down before I turned to him. Hawk was the only one who could ever turn me inside out like this. I always had a quick temper, so everyone tended to piss me off. But, no one pulled it out of me quite as quick as he did.
“I really wish you’d just listen to me.”
“I am listening,” I snapped back, turning to him. “I’m just not likin’ what I hear.” I hated the hurt that flashed through his eyes. But, it was gone almost as quick. Must not have gone that deep then.
“You’ve never much liked what I had to say. Can’t take anything that upsets the balance of your world, can you?”
That dig went deep, and a little too close to the heart of the matter. “That’s not it,” I insisted, even if I didn’t believe it. “But, it wouldn’t be right.” I couldn’t lose my place here, and I was so afraid that’s what would happen if this went any farther. Hawk said it wouldn’t matter, but what they said and what they did could be completely different things. Not that I had any proof for that.
He moved closer, his expression open, vulnerable. Why did he have to look at me like that? He knew what it did to me. “You want it back.”
I didn’t have to ask what it was. “No.”
“You only get scared liked this when there’s something you really want almost within your reach.”
“No,” I said again, but my voice slipped a little. It felt like he was circling me, like his namesake getting ready to dive for the kill. My breath came a little faster, waiting for him to strike. “I don’t want this.”
He pulled back sharply, but I could see his feathers were ruffled. Like he’d heard “I don’t want you.” That wasn’t true. It never would be. But, I couldn’t have him.
“You don’t want to want this,” he corrected.
I couldn’t argue with that, so I didn’t say a word. To me, they were one and the same. He took two more steps away from me. “You know I’ll never push you. But, if you ever realize you do want it, come and find me. Until then, I think it’s better if we get different riding partners.”
The claws that had dug into my chest earlier, gripped tight now. He couldn’t really mean that. We’d always ridden together. “Hawk, no.”
“Yeah, Devil,” he said, taking out his keys without looking at me. “That’s the way it’s gotta be. Find me when that changes.”
I watched him walk away then pressed my head against the wall, curses falling from my lips. Why did everything feel just beyond the tips of my fingers around him. Damn it. No. I wasn’t going to let him do this. I snatched up my keys and headed out the door. But, I could already hear the rumble of his bike heading away.
Well, I’d just have to catch him then.