It’s time for the last Stream of Consciousness post of 2016. This week’s prompt is to use first/last or words that mean the same. I’ve had a set of characters who just won’t leave me alone this week. So, I’ll give them some time to play here.
“First, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
The corners of Silas’ mouth curled up. He’d known Jeremiah for nearly a decade now. The man was one of the most honest, honorable people he knew. But, he’d always had a strong vein of denying his own feelings. “Seriously, man, I hope you don’t think I’m blind. Even if I was, I’d probably be able to see it. The sparks you two throw off light up the whole damn room.”
Color filled his friend’s face, and Silas tried to ignore the ache in his chest. He wanted someone to look at him the way Corrin looked at Jeremiah. Hell, he wanted Jeremiah to look at him that way. There’d been times when he’d thought he had. He just wished he could ignore his feelings the way Jeremiah seemed to.
“You’re so full of it, Silas. I don’t even know why you’re pushing this.”
Neither did he. Except he wanted his friend to be happy. He thought Corrin could help him find that. And he liked her, too. Something had happened to her recently, something that was weighing her down. he wished she’d talk about it. But, even Jeremiah said she wouldn’t talk to him about whatever it was. She needed to talk to somebody about it, he was sure about that.
They weren’t exactly best friends. He wasn’t sure they could ever be with Jeremiah between them. But, he hated to see the haunted look in her eyes.
“Second,” Jeremiah said, pulling him out of his thoughts, “I won’t take advantage of her when she’s vulnerable.”
Their thoughts seemed to be running along similar lines. “Jer, I don’t think you’re capable of taking advantage of anyone.”
His friend frowned at that. Yeah, he definitely didn’t see himself the way Silas did. “Trust me,” Silas added, “that’s a good thing.”
Jeremiah ran his thumb over his lips. Lips it had been too long since Silas had kissed. He wanted to pull his thumb away and do just that right now. But, he couldn’t. They hadn’t touched each other since Corrin had started sleeping on their couch. Almost two months now.
“Third,” Jeremiah finally said, “it’s not fair to you.”
“I’ve seen you with girls before,” Silas said. “There’s nothing unfair about it.” Except for the way everything twisted up inside him.
“But, she’s different,” Jeremiah said. “You know she is.”
He did. Even he could feel it. And he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He turned away from his friend, trying to get his thoughts in order. Then, he felt his friend step up behind him, putting one hand at the small of his back and nudging him so he turned back. One hand stayed at Silas’ back while the other came up to cup his cheek. There’d always been so much between them. Some they didn’t even say. Maybe they didn’t have words for it.
“This is different, too,” Jeremiah said, then his lips were on Silas’.