I know I said I wouldn’t participate in another blog challenge until April, but then the Word a Day challenge popped up on my twitter feed over the weekend. And we all know I can’t just resist a challenge. So, here I am.
There have been a few things I’ve had to accept about myself over the years. That I don’t think about things like other people. That I don’t interact with people in the same way others do. That I won’t ever be seen as quite “normal”. That I do likely have social anxiety disorder. And, recently, that I really can’t focus on one writing project at a time.
Some of these were easy to accept. I spent a lot of years being the brunt of others’ jokes, the target of their teasing. It was the only reason I hated school. I loved to learn, have read voraciously since I was 5 or 6. In first grade, I was reading two grade levels above that. And I’ll read *almost* anything. I’m not big on horror or inspirational, though. Give me a good love story, no matter what else it’s surrounded by, and I’ll probably love it. Or almost anything that takes my emotions on a rollercoaster ride(if it makes me cry, it will probably even get 5 stars).
I’m not a talker. Especially if I’m in a group. Get me one-on-one and hit on a favorite topic(history, writing, horses, etc…) and that’s different. But, get more than a couple people around me, and I shut down. I’ve beat myself up a lot over the years for that. But, it’s the way I am. Trying to be more outgoing, only makes my anxiety levels shoot up. It’s so not worth it.
I’ve thought for a while that it’s best if I focus everything onto one writing project at a time. And it probably would be best not to spread myself out too much. But…I just can’t do it. Not for any length of time anyway. Right now, I have the year split between writing months and editing months. Something else I’ve had to accept about myself, though, is that writing helps me be more emotionally level. When I don’t write for any length of time, I become not a pretty person to be around. So, even during those editing months, I’m doing some writing on the side.
And if I didn’t have so many story ideas bouncing around in my head, it may not be so hard to work straight through my projects. But, I have 5 different series going, and I want to work on all of them at the same time. That’s a little impossible. But, I have gone back to my method of working on a different one each day. Right now, I’m working on that day’s project for 20-30 minutes before I switch to revising. Next month, when I get back to drafting, I’ll be focusing all my writing time to that day’s project.
What have you had to accept about yourself?