Home of a mother, wife, writer

Only Wednesday morning, and it’s been a productive week already. I got ahead on my writing goals last night, so had today’s finished by 7:30. Hoping that means I can get ahead for the rest of the week as well. I’m not doing a RoW80 check-in today though. Since tomorrow is the last day of the round, I’ll just do the final wrap-up then. But, I do have a WiPPet snippet for you at least. Not far past last week’s bit. For today, I have 31 sentences(6+25). Adam is out checking fences with the foreman when he sees something disturbing.

He drew in a breath and slowly released it, then fell in beside James. But, they hadn’t ridden far when he pulled on the reins. “I can’t do it,” he said. “Tell Patrick I’ll be back before dark.”
“Damn, Adam. Get the hell back here.”
Adam was already urging his horse into a trot then a lope. He didn’t bother responding to the foreman’s words. Something did not feel right. It weighed on him like a heavy blanket. He was afraid it would suffocate him if he didn’t find out what was wrong. He heard another shout behind him, knew James had turned and followed him. He didn’t stop though.
He came to the rise of a hill then yanked on the reins. A cabin had stood in the clearing below. The trees were cut back, leaving enough so that it would have been hidden coming from the other direction. The direction that the Kline ranch lay. But, someone had obviously known about it and had not wanted it here. All that remained besides the stone of a chimney and a few logs of the foundation, was smoking ashes. He saw another pile of ashes to the right of that. What had probably been a lean-to for the homesteaders’ animals.
That heavy blanket still hadn’t lifted from him.
Adam heard the pound of hooves behind him. Probably would have reached for his gun if he hadn’t known James was following him. “Damn,” the older man breathed when he pulled his horse up beside Adam.
“I’m going down there.”
James reached for his reins before he could even urge the horse forward. “It’s still not our land, Adam. Not our business.”
“And what if whoever’s cabin that is is still down there. We can’t just leave them.”

I’m more than halfway through the first draft of Stained by Ashes. I was hoping to have it done this month, but it may spill over into July. That’s all right. It takes as long as it takes. I may just have to adjust my goals for Camp Nanowrimo.

If you want to know how the second RoW80 round went, check back in tomorrow.

Comments on: "Writing Wednesday: Mind Your Business" (12)

  1. see! an upstanding man! I like Adam better and better each week. =P I really do hope no one was in the cabin.

  2. I like the tension between wanting to stay safe and mind your own business and wanting to figure out what’s going on and maybe try to help. Very realistic reactions from both sides.

  3. Great excerpt Fallon. I liked the metaphor of the heavy blanket that Adam is feeling on him and your descriptions of the surrounding countryside and the burnt out cabin. Good stuff. 🙂

  4. Usually when someone is trying to stay out of sight, something’s up. And when they’re discovered…. I’m definitely seeing trouble in the near future. Adam’s a standup fellow though. Hope he comes out of it all okay.

  5. I agree with Adam. Go help!!! That would be a disturbing sight to come upon. And frightening.

  6. I love that both characters have perfectly logical arguements for their points-of-view. Of course there could be someone down there, but no use putting themselves in danger, too. I hope Adam remembers that in his haste.

  7. kathils said:

    Nicely done. You’ve built some good tension and sound reasonings from both men on acting or not acting. I would certainly side with Adam, but cautiously. No telling if someone is still lurking around.

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