Home of a mother, wife, writer

I found a few good posts around this week. First is this one from L.S. Engler on Fear of “Comment-ment”.  This is something I suffer from as well. I’ve been getting better, but it’s still something I struggle with. I’ve mentioned before that I’m really not a social person. If I went much farther on the introvert scale(and didn’t have my husband and kids to pull me out from time to time), I’d probably be considered a recluse. Also what would probably be diagnosed as social anxiety disorder(a big part of why I will never go out on Black Friday. I can barely handle the mall/crowds on a regular day). I think this bleeds over into my social media/online life as well. I like twitter because even though it feels like a party sometimes with all these different conversations going by, you can concentrate on just one or two of them if you want. And I’ve even had to take breaks from it because it can be overwhelming. Anyway, I think part of my problem with commenting is that I’m used to not saying anything. A lot of the time it’s that I don’t have anything to say. But, other times I want to leave a response, and I just – can’t. When I do, it often takes me quite a while to make sure I have it worded just right(which is probably one reason I keep quiet most of the time – can’t do that away from the computer screen). I have been working on it, but it can still be a struggle for me. I have this same issue with leaving reviews. Another thing I’ve been working on.

Then, this post from Kristen Lamb’s new blog series Writer Victory. This one on Identifying Problems areas. I’ve made the excuses. I let my insecurities keep me from writing. I was a wife and mother, with barely a year between the two. I think I had myself convinced I couldn’t be those and a writer. I tried to write, but if it wasn’t perfect, I gave up. Even now, my insecurities keep me from talking about it. If someone calls and asks what I’m doing, I never say writing.(“nothing” is my usual answer). I don’t tell people I’m a writer when they ask what I do. (“I stay home with the kids”). But, writers write. And when I wasn’t writing, I was miserable. To myself and to others. So, for the last 3+ years, I’ve been taking that back. I wake up at 4, so I can get some writing in before the kids get up(and even that isn’t always a lot of time). I take the hour or more of the boy’s naptime(when he takes one) to get some more writing done. As Kristen said “We don’t find time, we make time.”

And another post from Ava Jae on the difference between scene breaks and chapter breaks. I always struggle with where to end my chapters. I have this thing where I want all my chapters to be even(and have an even number of chapters). So, I’ve tried keeping them within a certain number of words. Or I’ve tried organizing them with just what happens in them. But, then the numbers are all weird(I seriously have a weird thing with numbers. I don’t know why this bothers me so much). Or end the chapter on a “big disaster” so the reader doesn’t want to put it down. And since I can’t seem to settle on one way, I’m very glad for Scrivener and the ease of moving chapters around. I just finished plotting out my next WiP last week. And set up the chapters with just 1-2 scenes each. I have a feeling it won’t stay this way.

I do have a few more posts to share, but I think I will save them for next week. 🙂

Comments on: "Monday Mentions: Comments, Breaks, and vIctory" (3)

  1. Thanks for another great mention, Fallon! Of course, I had to comment about it. It really was reassuring to know that I’m not the only one, and I think you have some great insight on it, too. I go through periods of being chatty and being really quiet, so I suppose my commenting would reflect that, too.

    • You’re welcome. 🙂 I’m also glad to know I’m not the only one like that. I always feel bad that I don’t comment on all, or really even most, of the posts I read.

  2. On the comment thing, I find it gets easier with time. I used to be really nervous of leaving comments and at first it was hard. I would read and re-read and spend ages on a few lines. But I can tell you this, the more you do it, the easier it becomes, until you think nothing of going to a complete stranger’s blog and leaving them a comment. Definitely keep at it, giving and receiving comments on blogs is such a wonderful thing – connections make all the difference.

    Keep in mind also that most bloggers are so happy to receive a comment they probably won’t notice or care if you’re less than perfectly eloquent or if you’ve made a typo in it. It’s just nice to hear from people 🙂

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