Home of a mother, wife, writer

Duty to Protect is now out in the wild. Okay, maybe not the wild, but still. 🙂 Needless to say yesterday involved a bit of bouncing around, checking on the status(more on that below), and obsessing. Yes, I’m good at that part. Not much else going on here. It’s cold again after being 75 on Monday. It’s supposed to warm up again tomorrow then settle in the 50s.

Still working through revisions on Flames of Redemption, so I’ll be sharing another snippet from that today for my WiPPet. Today’s picks up right where I left off last week. 27 sentences(4+23).

Kayla had only taken a step when she stopped again. She wasn’t sure what had stopped her until she focused on what she’d seen from the corner of her eye. A man just standing on the sidewalk on the other side of the street. He didn’t look much older than her, his dark hair free from a hat. He had a stocky build and was only wearing a long-sleeve shirt and track pants. And he was staring right at her, even though a dog, what looked like a border collie, pulled on the leash. Sunglasses covered his eyes, but his face looked like what she imagined his body did under the clothes: hard and toned. He wasn’t just out with a walk with his dog. She imagined he ran almost every day and kept himself in shape. There was something else about him, but she wasn’t sure what.
She wouldn’t dwell on it. She had to get to work. And she’d promised herself three years ago that she was done with intense men. She didn’t need more than one look, or to even see his eyes, to know he would be.
She strolled into the station a few minutes later. One of the men glanced up at her, his eyes narrowing. “’Bout time you showed up, Brooke.”
She refused to even look at him. “Shove it, Young,” she said, glancing at the clock as she passed him. “I’m a minute early for shift.”
“Run out of time baking cookies before you came?”
Now, she did turn to him. “Seriously, Young, what is your problem with me? I’ve been doing the job longer than you’ve been with this department. I don’t think I’ve baked cookies more than once in my life.” She muttered the last and saw a few smirks around the table of men.
“Doesn’t mean you belong here.”

Oh, (Mark) Young is such a jerk. Or is he? I don’t think it’s too much of a spoiler to say he redeems himself before the end of the story(and no, him and Kayla are never an item).

  • Duty to Protect(formerly Slow Revenge): Publish – DONE! I hit publish on Tuesday morning and by lunchtime it was available at Amazon. By the time I got the girl off the school bus, it was up at B&N(which from some of what I’ve heard, that’s pretty quick). And a little later on Kobo. Still waiting on iBooks. I, uh, may have had some trouble focusing on much else yesterday.
  • Flames of Redemption: Finish revisions – getting there. I adjusted the goal, so i’m doing 3 chapters a day. Today’s went pretty quick, so I may still end up finishing this week. But, as long as I get this round of revisions(since I think I’ll do one more before I send it to CP) by the end of the month, I’ll be happy.
  • The Choice: Read through – 60% through this. Focusing on the big picture things right now. After I do this, I’ll go back through for scene level changes. Then probably another for more of the details.
  • Short Story: 1/2 hour a day – haven’t worked on this at all this week. Not too worried about that.
  • Read: Riding Desire set – still working my way through this. Haven’t read any I liked as much as Nice Girls Don’t Ride.
  • Knit: Imp cloth – Started this yesterday. About halfway through it now.

Comments on: "Writing Wednesday: Into the Wild" (21)

  1. o.O I know someone like Young. I want to punch him in the face 90% of the time. This is a great excerpt. And I’m so sharing Duty to Protect EVERYWHERE! muahahahaha

  2. Ooh, Young really is a jerk. I’d like to smack him. Does the intense jogger show up again? He’s interesting.

    • yes, he is. He has reasons for his attitude that really have nothing to do with Kayla. But, yeah,sometimes I want to smack him too.

      And, yes, he does. 🙂

  3. You’ve set up some great tension in your story–both with the potential romantic interest and with her jerk co-worker. Nice snippet! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  4. I agree with Adrian, I usually get urges to punch people like Young in the face. But sometimes I enjoy that in a character. Nice excerpt! 🙂

  5. Three very distinct personalities here… If I were Kayla, I would have answered “Even if I was, I wouldn’t have brought you any, so stop hinting.”… because Mark sounds like he seriously needs to be brought down a step or a dozen. Still, cool to know he redeems himself… maybe dealing with the creepy dog walker? O.o

  6. I once had a coworker tell the other guys that we had spent the night together (I was single then). He actually had the audacity and lack of sense to ask me to confirm it…

    My reply?

    “Well, if we did, you couldn’t have been very good, because I have no memory of it at all!”

    Sometimes, I think pretty fast on my feet…

    I like the tensions in this piece – who’s the jogger, what will come of the chauvanistic work[lace vibe….and can I pet that dog? I like border collies!

    • haha! I wish I could think that fast on my feet. Remarks usually come to me hours later. Way too late to make them.

      Thanks. And you will find out 😉

  7. Nice tension building here, both with the guy on the street and Young. Though him I’d like to smack. I hope the rest of the ‘guys’ don’t share his sentiment.

    My only nit…well, I admit, use of ‘was’ drives me right around the bend. Generally I try to ignore it unless I’m critting/beta reading. Most times I realize it’s first drafty stuff and will hopefully get worked out later. But I OD’d on ‘was’ in the first paragraph alone so I have to jump on it. Just. Can’t. Stop. Myself.

    I do love this line, “his face looked like what she imagined his body did under the clothes: hard and toned”.

    • haha, that seems to be a common feeling when it comes to Mark. And most of the others are much more accepting of her.

      Yes, that’s one of my issues I usually have to back through for.

      Thanks

  8. sounds like a good week for you, well done on the amazon book – liked the excerpt couple of creeps there it seems like:) all the best

  9. Hmm… So she’s been doing the job longer but he still feels it appropriate to speak to her that way? I hope you give him a dressing down before he redeems himself. 😉

    Intense men, huh? Too many run-ins with fellas who have something to prove?

  10. […] shows up. If you have been following my WiPPets for any length of time, you may remember Mark from this one. I know most people didn’t like him back […]

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