Home of a mother, wife, writer

Since RoW80 is on break this week, I figured I’d take a break from the blog as well. Especially since I was trying to finish this latest round of edits on Slow Revenge. I put all my focus on that this week and finished them a little earlier today. One step closer to this being completely finished. Not sure if I’ve mentioned it on here, but this story actually came to me almost 10 years ago. I wrote the first version of it the summer of 2004. It wasn’t even 50,000 words if I remember right. And…it was bad. I don’t even have a copy of that old version anymore. So, back in 2012, when I decided to rewrite it, I had to do it completely from scratch. I wrote the first words of this version on May 7, 2012(I have my word counts recorded on a spreadsheet) and had it finished by the end of August. I’m hoping to have it released by that 2 year mark.

For today, 11 paragraphs(4+2+1+4 for 4/2/14).

Garren turned away and went to stare out the window, his mind spinning with all of the possibilities. It wasn’t like Connie to just walk off. She would have stayed there and waited for him to come back so they could finish whatever argument they were having. His sister could have quite the hot temper, and she didn’t walk away from a fight. She’d see it through until it was over. So, why hadn’t she been there to do just that? He didn’t want to think about the other possibilities that left.

Maybe she had gone for a walk. She could have tried to find Geoff after he took off. Except she usually knew to let him cool off first. Still, what if she’d been hurt? What if someone had hurt her? What if…? No. He couldn’t even finish that thought. He turned back to Geoff. The sobbing had stopped and now the man just appeared weak and drained. “When did you finally decide it was time to worry?”

He took a deep breath. “When I woke up this morning, and she still wasn’t back. I went around the campground, showing a picture. No one had seen her.” His voice broke again. “I spent hours looking. There was no sign of her. I went to the ranger’s station. They practically laughed me out of the building. Obviously we’d had a lover’s spat, and she had taken off.”

“What about the cops, Geoff? Why didn’t you go to the cops? You should have gone this morning when she was still missing.” His voice was still quiet, but in resignation now instead of anger.

“I’m here now, aren’t I?”

“Damn it!” Maybe the anger wasn’t gone after all. “I’m not the cop you need to go to. You need to take this to missing persons.” He sighed. “I’m a homicide detective. I’m not on the case until they’re dead.”

He turned away and squeezed his eyes shut. The catch of his mother’s breath as she cried made him cringe. How could he have been so insensitive? He shook off the guilt and turned back to Geoff. “Come on,” he said. “We’re going to take this to the people who can help.”

“I’m not going to that place,” Geoff insisted, not even standing up from the couch.

“Yes, you are.” Garren clenched his teeth after giving the order. “I don’t care how you feel about cops, Geoff. They’re the ones that will be able to find my sister. You need to be the one to report this.”

“They’re going to think I did something to her.”

“I know,” Garren said, his voice softer now. “But, we don’t. Always remember that.”


Comments on: "Writing Wednesday: Not Quite a Break" (13)

  1. o.O or did he? =P I’m really excited for this piece. I can’t wait to read it all!

  2. This is a great scene. I like how we’re seeing quite a range of Garren’s emotions.

  3. Kat Morrisey said:

    Love this scene and remember it fondly. *sighs* Garren….I like him. A lot. But, wait. Who’s that other guy I like? oh, yeah, Adam!! Oh that’s your other story. I can wait for him. *taps foot in a mockingly impatient sort of way, before grinning* just kidding, I can wait. 😀 I’m so happy to see you so close to being done with this and can’t wait to see it out in the world! *happy dances at the mere thought of it*

  4. Hmmm. I’m terribly suspicious of Geoff’s sobbing and reluctance to go to the cops, but that could be because I’ve watched too much true crime for my own good. Like Garren’s world-weary attitude and worry for Connie. I can’t imagine being a homicide cop – the horrible things that have to live in your mind until you catch the killer!

  5. kathils said:

    I’m with Xina. Geoff is making me think he doth protest too much. I do love Garren’s swinging of emotions–professionalism warring with concern. A well-crafted scene with a lot of feeling.

  6. What Kathi said. 🙂 Personal feelings vs. job is always a toughie.

  7. I love the paragraph with all the “what ifs?” Very effective. I agree with the others above me, Geoff’s behaviour seems very suspicious, but then maybe you’re throwing a red herring at us! 😛

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